Life as a Mommyholic

I don't think it is a secret that I am *slightly* obsessed with my daughter. For example, I started this second blog to practice my writing skills, yet keep coming back to topics that have to do with Lauren and being a mom.

My husband thinks I am a bit of a hover-er. And I am. I'm trying to be better. There are times when I do give Lauren time to play without me just constantly being by her side...last night I did dishes while she played with her kitchen. I just don't want to miss anything - ANYTHING. Being a working mom, I have missed some things. The first time she walked, she did it at the daycare. Granted, the wonderful ladies didn't tell me this until after the fact, so I thought she walked for me first. She is changing by the second though!

Today, I ended up working a full day - usually I leave work at 2, but I had to stay until 4 today and nearly rushed out of the office because I just knew that Lauren thought I forgot about her. I think this because one time when I had to work until 5 and didn't get her until 5:30, I was told that she kept watching the door everytime someone came through looking for me. So we spent the whole night together and it was great! She went to bed, and I am thoroughly exhausted - BUT, I really miss her now!

Troy and I are heading to Mexico in less than a month, and we are both nervous about leaving her for a week. I know she's going to be fine, she'll have a great time with her grandparents that she doesn't see often - and her great-grandma - but I'm kind of nervous about how Troy and I will do without her!!

I totally understand that we need time for ourselves apart from her, but I tend to miss her as soon as we hit the door. She never cares that we leave as long as she's with her grandparents, but I miss her terribly when I'm away from her. I tend to think that this is normal...but you never know. I may be a little on the extreme side.

I'm getting better, but I tend to be a bit overcautious with her - especially when it comes to her health. I'm pretty sure Lauren's tab alone will pay for one of my pediatrician's kids to get through college. I remember at her year appointment, Dr. Bowman just kind of looked at me and was like, "so, time for another?" I bet he was hoping so! He has three kids, so I'm sure he's hoping I have the same...all their visits will put his kids through school. Just kidding...kind of. He's a great ped and I'm very glad that he is Lauren's doctor. He may regret the fact that he gave me his cell and pager numbers, as both have been used on a few occasions! Lauren had some issues getting on the right formula, and some caused her to be a little gassy which made her cry because she was in pain. And then she started daycare, and seemed to get everything anyone had. One of the doctors in the practice knows Troy and I through soccer and he *joked* with us once about how it'd been a while since Lauren and I had been in....I would rather be safe than sorry though. And she was my first...might not be the same with the next one!

I talk about Lauren constantly. I know, shocker, right? Because I certainly haven't mentioned her in this new blog...but seriously. She is my favorite topic, and I will tell anyone and everyone about her. I'm fortunate to work with a group of ladies that all have kids and love kids. My manager has two that are around Lauren's age. I was so proud of myself in my interview with them that I didn't mention Lauren. Troy coached me to not talk about personal stuff like that. But, 10 minutes into my first day I spilled the beans...I saw a picture of a baby and I just had to share about Lauren. I tell my co-workers stories constantly. This morning, I couldn't wait to get in and show them the video of Lauren's dance! Again, very fortunate that my manager is a mom! She enjoyed the video, which I'm sure would be completely unprofessional in other offices. I'm a mom first, then comes everything else.

The teachers at daycare jokingly call me the "homeroom mom" - not only do I devote attention to my child, but I devote attention to other children who seek it. Generally, I pick up Lauren and she rushes over to hug me. Invariably, two or three kids also come over to get a hug. They are generally the same kids, but every now and then a new one comes over. Yesterday, one of the girls came over and handed me her toy keys, so we played for a minute. Two of the kids know which bag is ours, and as soon as they see us they go over to the bags and reach up trying to get mine. They like to help me put the bag on my shoulder - and sometimes they like to go through the bag. Today, one of the girls pulled out Elmo for Lauren and another girl brought Lauren a baby doll (because she is the baby doll queen). Even the older kids know us - I'm "Lauren's mommy," and I have to say that just makes me smile hearing it!

A similar thing happens at the playground. I'm always playing with Lauren and helping her to do things on the equipment. Every now and then we'll encounter some kids at the park who see me playing with Lauren and want to play with us. This one kid was probably 10 and just kept talking to me and wanting me to interact with him. I try to do this as much as I can, but it's harder to do at the park when I'm trying to keep up with Lauren.

I love my daughter more than anything and would do whatever I could to make sure she is happy (within reason...I still don't let her eat chocolate for dinner even if that's what she wants). I'm proud to be a Mommyholic. One day, sooner than later, she is going to be off on playdates and then she'll be driving and off to college and I won't get the opportunities I do now. I will continue to hover, although not as closely so she learns to play independently, because I can and one day I won't be able to. Her hugs and kisses let me know that she thinks it's okay. I know she loves me too.