When I was in school, I'd always - ALWAYS - become much less motivated with school work and more interested in lazy days outside around May. In college, I worked my butt off during the year so that when finals came around, I didn't have to really study so hard. I knew I wouldn't. I'd make the study guides, read over them, but inevitably a pretty, sunny, warm day would occur and I'd blow it off. It was always my summer-itis kicking in.
Now that I'm a *laughs* grown-up, I should be more focused on my career - errr - job, but I'm not. I'm sitting here, inside on a beautiful FRIDAY and cannot get motivated for anything besides going home, getting my daughter and playing until we drive to Charleston to meet Troy for Blues, Brews and BBQs tonight. I should write some more, but I don't wanna. I should be making my lists - if for no other reason than to give Troy something to make fun of me for (as if he needs more ammo) - because we leave for vacation on Tuesday. I should be working.
I need to be a teacher. I just decided this, like, two seconds ago. It's something Troy has suggested and something I've thought about on my own, but today makes it definitive. I am destined to be a teacher because I don't want to work during the summer. I'd rather go to the pool or the park with my daughter, go on walks, read on the couch with the windows open while Lauren naps. I don't want to be sitting in an office. **Sidenote, I actually really do enjoy my job...summer-itis is just really kicking into full gear today**
It's just one of those days where I'm actually sitting here and minutes will pass and I have no clue what happened. I'm very spacy today, my mind filled with thoughts about what I should be writing. What I want to do with Lauren when we get home. What I'm going to wear tonight. What I'm going to wear tomorrow night. I told Troy I was bored and he told me to blog. So I am. And it's random and about nothing because that's what happens to me on sunny, pretty Fridays when I'm stuck inside a building daydreaming about what I could be doing rather than actually doing what I should.
I love that I get to leave in a half hour. I know that today will repeat itself Monday and Tuesday. Those days, I will be suffering from vacation-itis, which occurs in the days before one physically goes on vacation but mentally is already there. My mind will be at Hilton Head, on the beach, watching Lauren throw sand. And I will be mentally preparing lists. And not focused on work.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Reading
Sometimes I am amazed at the randomness of topics that come to me while I'm at work.
Today, while I'm doing nothing even remotely close to reading I think, wouldn't it be fun to blog about book reviews? Which from there went to I think it'd be really great to have a book club. Well, as anyone with small children knows, finding the time to do that now would be difficult...unless I got involved in a book club with women who also had small children and realized that it may take a month or two to read a book.
But I digress.
When Troy and I were flying to Mexico, we were not seated together due to the last minute change to our flight. I don't know why this came to me today, but it did. I'm sitting there, reading a book that I had been wanting to read for months but had saved specifically for this trip, knowing that I would finally have the time to sit and read a few chapters without either falling asleep or feeling like I was neglecting my husband. Kathy Reichs - Devil Bones. Kathy Reichs is an AWESOME author. She's a forensic anthropologist and uses a lot of big words that I really don't understand sometimes, but she has the ability to incorporate that into her writing in a really interesting way. I've read all of her books and am anxiously awaiting the release of 206 Bones this summer. (Also how I was able to answer a random question at the Moon Palace Resort in Cancun) So anyway, I'm putting my book away because we are getting ready to prepare for landing when the gentleman seated next to me (and another side note - I'm not a talker on airplanes. I like that downtime for myself unless I'm sitting with Troy) and says, "It's great to see a young person reading something other than those Twilight books. Every young woman I've seen lately has been reading those" to which I replied, "Yeah, that's a good series - I already read them."
I'm not sure what his point was, but the impression I got from that small interaction was that he felt that series was just not worthy reading material. You know, who cares what the content of the book is as long as people - especially young people - are reading? I always hated hearing about schools that wanted to do away with Harry Potter because it promoted witchcraft. WHATEVER. I would love to live at Hogwarts and know all the spells, but I know that it is fantasy - it's not real. It doesn't make me want to go join some Wiccan cult. Young people are not going to turn into witches because they read Harry Potter. Young people will not want to become vampires by reading the Twilight Saga. In fact, if anything, I think the Twilight Saga is anti-vampire. None of the vampire characters want to be vampires - Edward doesn't want Bella to change over. Rosalie is jealous of human girls because they can do things she can't. My brother who has not read an entire book since he was probably 10 and reading the Goosebumps series by R. L. Stine turned ME on to Twilight. I figured if he read the book, and continued to read the whole series, it must be good. And it was. So why do you, random airplane man, care if young people are reading Twilight instead of some epic novel? The point is they are reading. Using their imaginations. Not playing video games.
That's my rant for today. I'm currently reading "Promise in Death" by JD Robb (aka Nora Roberts) and it is sooo good. I'm about 20 pages into it (and I started it three days ago), but it is going to be just like her other "In Death" novels. Very good.
I read to Lauren a lot. I want her to enjoy reading because I think it is a good thing. I'm kind of picky with the types of books I read and often get stuck on certain authors. Fortunately, through those authors I find new ones, and will try to read every book they've written. I have read every book in the JD Robb series and every Kathy Reichs book, every Sophie Kinsella book - although I do have one more to read where she is using her alias Madeline Wickham, and am working through Lisa Gardner's books.
One day, I'll read Harry Potter with Lauren. I'll pass on Twilight to her. If she reads, I am happy.
Today, while I'm doing nothing even remotely close to reading I think, wouldn't it be fun to blog about book reviews? Which from there went to I think it'd be really great to have a book club. Well, as anyone with small children knows, finding the time to do that now would be difficult...unless I got involved in a book club with women who also had small children and realized that it may take a month or two to read a book.
But I digress.
When Troy and I were flying to Mexico, we were not seated together due to the last minute change to our flight. I don't know why this came to me today, but it did. I'm sitting there, reading a book that I had been wanting to read for months but had saved specifically for this trip, knowing that I would finally have the time to sit and read a few chapters without either falling asleep or feeling like I was neglecting my husband. Kathy Reichs - Devil Bones. Kathy Reichs is an AWESOME author. She's a forensic anthropologist and uses a lot of big words that I really don't understand sometimes, but she has the ability to incorporate that into her writing in a really interesting way. I've read all of her books and am anxiously awaiting the release of 206 Bones this summer. (Also how I was able to answer a random question at the Moon Palace Resort in Cancun) So anyway, I'm putting my book away because we are getting ready to prepare for landing when the gentleman seated next to me (and another side note - I'm not a talker on airplanes. I like that downtime for myself unless I'm sitting with Troy) and says, "It's great to see a young person reading something other than those Twilight books. Every young woman I've seen lately has been reading those" to which I replied, "Yeah, that's a good series - I already read them."
I'm not sure what his point was, but the impression I got from that small interaction was that he felt that series was just not worthy reading material. You know, who cares what the content of the book is as long as people - especially young people - are reading? I always hated hearing about schools that wanted to do away with Harry Potter because it promoted witchcraft. WHATEVER. I would love to live at Hogwarts and know all the spells, but I know that it is fantasy - it's not real. It doesn't make me want to go join some Wiccan cult. Young people are not going to turn into witches because they read Harry Potter. Young people will not want to become vampires by reading the Twilight Saga. In fact, if anything, I think the Twilight Saga is anti-vampire. None of the vampire characters want to be vampires - Edward doesn't want Bella to change over. Rosalie is jealous of human girls because they can do things she can't. My brother who has not read an entire book since he was probably 10 and reading the Goosebumps series by R. L. Stine turned ME on to Twilight. I figured if he read the book, and continued to read the whole series, it must be good. And it was. So why do you, random airplane man, care if young people are reading Twilight instead of some epic novel? The point is they are reading. Using their imaginations. Not playing video games.
That's my rant for today. I'm currently reading "Promise in Death" by JD Robb (aka Nora Roberts) and it is sooo good. I'm about 20 pages into it (and I started it three days ago), but it is going to be just like her other "In Death" novels. Very good.
I read to Lauren a lot. I want her to enjoy reading because I think it is a good thing. I'm kind of picky with the types of books I read and often get stuck on certain authors. Fortunately, through those authors I find new ones, and will try to read every book they've written. I have read every book in the JD Robb series and every Kathy Reichs book, every Sophie Kinsella book - although I do have one more to read where she is using her alias Madeline Wickham, and am working through Lisa Gardner's books.
One day, I'll read Harry Potter with Lauren. I'll pass on Twilight to her. If she reads, I am happy.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Tuesdays...
Randomness, totally.
Pills - NOT WORKING. Very frustrated by this. I've talked with the doctor's office and gotten the PA, who I really really dislike because she is ignorant. I've been on the pill since April 24. That's three months. I'm on my second type of pill. Still not working. I think the hormone levels in the pills do nothing for me. I am exhausted and for the longest time couldn't figure it out because I was doing SO well for a while and I realized that it's because the plan my doctor laid out for me is not working. I will finish out this month and attempt a second month on this pill, but if things continue like they are, I am going off of them. It's not worth it. Hopefully in the next few months we'll decide to have another one and hopefully that will correct the endometriosis. If not, I may be signing up for a hysterectomy unless we feel there is a strong chance we'd like to have a third child. This whole medical issue frustrates me, more so in the summer because I feel limited in what I can do with Lauren. Right now, as I'm sitting here, I am struggling to keep my eyes open. No exaggeration. And I had a Coke to try and wake me up this morning.
Working Out - Yeah, not so much. BUT, I feel like I've lost some weight. Go figure. I was all paranoid before Mexico and since I've stopped obsessing about trying to get a totally flat belly, I've lost some of the baby-weight flub (yes, nearly two years later...). I've been taking Lauren on walks usually twice a day in her wagon up the street, which has a BIG hill and I think that has helped me.
Eating Healthy - Again, not so much. For example, this morning I stopped at McD's for my Coke and cinnamelts. Had McD for lunch yesterday and Wendy's for dinner the day before. Typing that actually makes me feel ill. I need to be better about that. I have a Healthy Choice meal for lunch. BLAH, but I didn't have the energy to make PB&J haha!
Writing - I've kind of fallen off this wagon. I have 50+ pages of material, all of which I have printed off so that I can easily review it. I still have my storyline, and there are a few things I want to change, but I haven't made the time to focus on this. Hopefully over the next few days I'll be better, and definitely over vacation I'd like to write some. By the time Lauren gets in bed, I just want to snuggle on the couch with Troy instead of spending time apart from him writing.
Vacation - Whoo Hoo! Hilton Head! We leave in a week. I'm very excited about this. Lauren will love the ocean! I just hope we can keep her out of it and she'll play in the sand. If it's a repeat of January (yes, when the air was 50 degrees and our little exploradora was in the water) then we're in for some screaming fits as we carry her from the beach back to the room. But, it'll be fun.
This weekend will be fun. Blues, Brews and BBQs is Friday night, and I think we're going to attempt to take Lauren in the hopes that she'll sleep in on Saturday (which means she'll wake up at 6:00am but I think she'll like the Blues part of the night) and then on Saturday we are hopefully going to head to the Wine & Jazz Festival. No word on whether or not we are volunteering, and if not the plan is to again take Lauren. She loves music. Sunday will be a relaxing day, with me trying to catch up on laundry in preparation for our mini-beach trip.
July will be a BUSY month. We are on vacation July 1-5, my brother, his girlfriend and their friend are coming to visit July 9-12 (hooray for white-water rafting on July 11!), July 18 is my Longaberger party, and July 24-26 we'll probably head to Terre Haute, Indiana (where?!) for a family picnic/reunion. I think my grandma is kind of excited about that. Hopefully Troy will make it, but work stuff always pops up the end of July.
And that's enough randomness for now. I need to find something to work on. Happy Tuesday - just 3 more full days to go until the weekend!
Pills - NOT WORKING. Very frustrated by this. I've talked with the doctor's office and gotten the PA, who I really really dislike because she is ignorant. I've been on the pill since April 24. That's three months. I'm on my second type of pill. Still not working. I think the hormone levels in the pills do nothing for me. I am exhausted and for the longest time couldn't figure it out because I was doing SO well for a while and I realized that it's because the plan my doctor laid out for me is not working. I will finish out this month and attempt a second month on this pill, but if things continue like they are, I am going off of them. It's not worth it. Hopefully in the next few months we'll decide to have another one and hopefully that will correct the endometriosis. If not, I may be signing up for a hysterectomy unless we feel there is a strong chance we'd like to have a third child. This whole medical issue frustrates me, more so in the summer because I feel limited in what I can do with Lauren. Right now, as I'm sitting here, I am struggling to keep my eyes open. No exaggeration. And I had a Coke to try and wake me up this morning.
Working Out - Yeah, not so much. BUT, I feel like I've lost some weight. Go figure. I was all paranoid before Mexico and since I've stopped obsessing about trying to get a totally flat belly, I've lost some of the baby-weight flub (yes, nearly two years later...). I've been taking Lauren on walks usually twice a day in her wagon up the street, which has a BIG hill and I think that has helped me.
Eating Healthy - Again, not so much. For example, this morning I stopped at McD's for my Coke and cinnamelts. Had McD for lunch yesterday and Wendy's for dinner the day before. Typing that actually makes me feel ill. I need to be better about that. I have a Healthy Choice meal for lunch. BLAH, but I didn't have the energy to make PB&J haha!
Writing - I've kind of fallen off this wagon. I have 50+ pages of material, all of which I have printed off so that I can easily review it. I still have my storyline, and there are a few things I want to change, but I haven't made the time to focus on this. Hopefully over the next few days I'll be better, and definitely over vacation I'd like to write some. By the time Lauren gets in bed, I just want to snuggle on the couch with Troy instead of spending time apart from him writing.
Vacation - Whoo Hoo! Hilton Head! We leave in a week. I'm very excited about this. Lauren will love the ocean! I just hope we can keep her out of it and she'll play in the sand. If it's a repeat of January (yes, when the air was 50 degrees and our little exploradora was in the water) then we're in for some screaming fits as we carry her from the beach back to the room. But, it'll be fun.
This weekend will be fun. Blues, Brews and BBQs is Friday night, and I think we're going to attempt to take Lauren in the hopes that she'll sleep in on Saturday (which means she'll wake up at 6:00am but I think she'll like the Blues part of the night) and then on Saturday we are hopefully going to head to the Wine & Jazz Festival. No word on whether or not we are volunteering, and if not the plan is to again take Lauren. She loves music. Sunday will be a relaxing day, with me trying to catch up on laundry in preparation for our mini-beach trip.
July will be a BUSY month. We are on vacation July 1-5, my brother, his girlfriend and their friend are coming to visit July 9-12 (hooray for white-water rafting on July 11!), July 18 is my Longaberger party, and July 24-26 we'll probably head to Terre Haute, Indiana (where?!) for a family picnic/reunion. I think my grandma is kind of excited about that. Hopefully Troy will make it, but work stuff always pops up the end of July.
And that's enough randomness for now. I need to find something to work on. Happy Tuesday - just 3 more full days to go until the weekend!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
White-Water Rafting
Today, Troy and I went white-water rafting!! It's something I've wanted to do ever since I moved back here in 2005 but we never got around to doing it. We got invited to go with a group and it ended up being a free trip (except for the $21 photo and $50 shoes). I have to say, I was petrified. More so than before ziplining, as I very much considered backing out. The team leader kept emphasizing that the waters were higher than normal and that if you weren't a strong swimmer he strongly advised you not go. I'm thinking that I don't swim like Michael Phelps, so maybe I'll die. Plus, in the back of my head kept running the very sad story about the kid from Hurricane High who drowned in the river about a week or so ago. He knew how to swim, and he still drown. Troy was awesome through the whole thing, telling me that we didn't have to go if I wasn't comfortable. When I told him my fears, he reassured me that we'd have life preservers on and there were plenty of people watching out for each other.
I grew up on the water. The water isn't what freaked me out so much, it was the thought that if I fell out and got caught in a current maybe I wouldn't make it out. Even though I thought about backing out, I knew that I would hate myself for it and also let Troy down because he really wanted to go. I was a nervous wreck the entire time we were getting our equipment and would nearly panic when they would *again* emphasize the importance of being able to "take care of yourself" out there and being able to "aggressively swim." The 40-minute bus ride was calming because we sat behind a guy who invited us to raft with him. He is a like, 20-some year veteran and used to be a guide. He had talked to the team lead and asked if he could be with a guide named Dave, who had actually trained him back in the '80s when he became a guide. Stroke of luck! Tracy is the guy's name and hearing him and Troy talk about everything other than the trip calmed me down. They know a lot of common people - not shocking since Troy knows pretty much everyone - and before we knew it, we were unloading the bus at the put-in site.
I had the BEST time ever - it was so much fun and I am so proud of myself for pushing back my fears that tried to envelope me. The first half of the trip was very relaxing and not very intense. We floated a lot - we actually got to spend quite a bit of time floating along the raft in the water. There were a couple Class 1 and Class 2 rapids, but nothing major at all. The first rapid we went over was kind of intense, but I had a lot of fun. We hit a Class 3 rapid right before we stopped for lunch. After lunch, things got a LOT more interesting!
The rapids were mainly Class 3 and Class 4, with a few Class 2 thrown in there. The rapids came much more often than before, so we really got a workout with the oars. I did not fall out of the raft once - actually no one in our group did - and only felt like I could twice. Sometimes we'd hit the rapids so hard that I'd lose my "bracing" but quickly got it back. My favorite part of the trip was when Troy and I (along with a couple other kids in our raft) bailed and got to float through a swimmer's rapid. Troy held on to me so we didn't get separated and it was soo much fun. It is unreal how fast those currents go!
Toward the end of the trip, we floated under the New River Bridge and it was such an amazing site to see from the water. I've been down there before - pretty much on the water bank a few years back when my brother and his ex-girlfriend came to visit. It wasn't as much fun because a) I was pregnant and still having severe morning sickness and b) I wasn't in the water. It was simply amazing.
The worst part of the day was spending Father's Day away from Lauren. We made sure to spend yesterday together and had a very awesome day. Daddy liked his new Garmin, we took Lauren to the pool and swam, walked around the mall and had dinner at Chik-Fil-A. Lauren was very happy to see us tonight when we got home, and she attached herself to daddy towards the end of the night before bed.
I am pumped to plan another trip down there. My brother, his girlfriend, and his roommate are coming in July 9-12, so we are going to hopefully plan a trip down to NARR on July 11th. Troy and I both agreed that we'd like to do the Lower New River one more time, then try one of the Gauley River trips. Those both include Class 5 rapids and are a little more advanced than the one we were on today. I DEFINITELY recommend NARR and the Lower New River trip for anyone wanting to go who hasn't ever been before. Lots of downtime to learn and prepare mentally, but towards the end the rapids can get pretty intense. Watching the video afterward, I saw just how crazy some of the rapids were! You get in such a zone while you are going through them, focusing on doing your part to get through them, that you really can appreciate how big they are. Apparently there were like, 5' and 6' waves!
I have to brag on myself. I really did push myself today. I wanted to bail and take the easy way, but I didn't. I don't want Lauren to have my fears, so if I push myself now to overcome them. Even though I've been nearly sick both times I've done new things - ziplining and now this - I have had so much fun doing it. We also learned that Class VI has one of the best ziplines in the country and I'm hoping that we can go down there and do the zipline and then another rafting trip. I think Lauren would be really proud of her mommy for white-water rafting today. Troy and I can't wait until she's 5 to take her!!
I grew up on the water. The water isn't what freaked me out so much, it was the thought that if I fell out and got caught in a current maybe I wouldn't make it out. Even though I thought about backing out, I knew that I would hate myself for it and also let Troy down because he really wanted to go. I was a nervous wreck the entire time we were getting our equipment and would nearly panic when they would *again* emphasize the importance of being able to "take care of yourself" out there and being able to "aggressively swim." The 40-minute bus ride was calming because we sat behind a guy who invited us to raft with him. He is a like, 20-some year veteran and used to be a guide. He had talked to the team lead and asked if he could be with a guide named Dave, who had actually trained him back in the '80s when he became a guide. Stroke of luck! Tracy is the guy's name and hearing him and Troy talk about everything other than the trip calmed me down. They know a lot of common people - not shocking since Troy knows pretty much everyone - and before we knew it, we were unloading the bus at the put-in site.
I had the BEST time ever - it was so much fun and I am so proud of myself for pushing back my fears that tried to envelope me. The first half of the trip was very relaxing and not very intense. We floated a lot - we actually got to spend quite a bit of time floating along the raft in the water. There were a couple Class 1 and Class 2 rapids, but nothing major at all. The first rapid we went over was kind of intense, but I had a lot of fun. We hit a Class 3 rapid right before we stopped for lunch. After lunch, things got a LOT more interesting!
The rapids were mainly Class 3 and Class 4, with a few Class 2 thrown in there. The rapids came much more often than before, so we really got a workout with the oars. I did not fall out of the raft once - actually no one in our group did - and only felt like I could twice. Sometimes we'd hit the rapids so hard that I'd lose my "bracing" but quickly got it back. My favorite part of the trip was when Troy and I (along with a couple other kids in our raft) bailed and got to float through a swimmer's rapid. Troy held on to me so we didn't get separated and it was soo much fun. It is unreal how fast those currents go!
Toward the end of the trip, we floated under the New River Bridge and it was such an amazing site to see from the water. I've been down there before - pretty much on the water bank a few years back when my brother and his ex-girlfriend came to visit. It wasn't as much fun because a) I was pregnant and still having severe morning sickness and b) I wasn't in the water. It was simply amazing.
The worst part of the day was spending Father's Day away from Lauren. We made sure to spend yesterday together and had a very awesome day. Daddy liked his new Garmin, we took Lauren to the pool and swam, walked around the mall and had dinner at Chik-Fil-A. Lauren was very happy to see us tonight when we got home, and she attached herself to daddy towards the end of the night before bed.
I am pumped to plan another trip down there. My brother, his girlfriend, and his roommate are coming in July 9-12, so we are going to hopefully plan a trip down to NARR on July 11th. Troy and I both agreed that we'd like to do the Lower New River one more time, then try one of the Gauley River trips. Those both include Class 5 rapids and are a little more advanced than the one we were on today. I DEFINITELY recommend NARR and the Lower New River trip for anyone wanting to go who hasn't ever been before. Lots of downtime to learn and prepare mentally, but towards the end the rapids can get pretty intense. Watching the video afterward, I saw just how crazy some of the rapids were! You get in such a zone while you are going through them, focusing on doing your part to get through them, that you really can appreciate how big they are. Apparently there were like, 5' and 6' waves!
I have to brag on myself. I really did push myself today. I wanted to bail and take the easy way, but I didn't. I don't want Lauren to have my fears, so if I push myself now to overcome them. Even though I've been nearly sick both times I've done new things - ziplining and now this - I have had so much fun doing it. We also learned that Class VI has one of the best ziplines in the country and I'm hoping that we can go down there and do the zipline and then another rafting trip. I think Lauren would be really proud of her mommy for white-water rafting today. Troy and I can't wait until she's 5 to take her!!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
It's been a while...
I get so caught up in keeping my family updated about Lauren that I don't spend much time on this blog.
I finally started doing something that I have wanted to do for the longest time - write. A goal of mine is to write a book and get published someday. I hesitated forever because I hate to fail and worried that if I wasn't able to do it, I'd be terribly disappointed in myself.
Two events changed my line of thinking: the Get Motivated conference and our first Sunday back at church in nearly two years.
At the Get Motivated conference, the first two speakers talked about finding your purpose and your gift. During one of the speeches, I wrote down in my workbook "write! write! write! write!" But, after the conference, other things got in the way and I didn't make the time to do this. We had a few trips to prepare for and I have a hard time taking myself away from Lauren to do something for myself. In fact, I rarely do this. If I'm not spending time with Lauren, I'm either doing chores around the house or she's asleep.
Two and a half weeks ago, Troy, Lauren and I finally went back to our church. There are numerous reasons why we had not gone in a while, none of which are important. The homily given by the priest spoke to me. I got two important things out of it: I need to focus on my gift and it doesn't matter how long I've been away from the church, I can always go back and will be forgiven.
As a result of those events, I finally started writing. If I get a spare minute here or there, I try to write. If I can't work on the actual storyline, I have a little notebook that I have started to carry with me and will jot stuff down. In fact, a major urge hit me yesterday on the way to work and I hate to admit that I actually jotted stuff down while I was driving.
It is amazing to me how easily my ideas are coming now that I am open to them and focused on this project. I have written nearly 40 pages of material in two weeks - which may not seem like much, but it is when you work, have a toddler and husband, and a million things to do before focusing on yourself. I am trying to remain positive and hopefully after this is all said and done, I can find a way to get published. If not, my motivation now is that I want to be able to tell Lauren that I accomplished one of my life long goals. I want to teach Lauren to set goals for herself and to do whatever it takes to reach them. For me, it may just be a typed story on plain white paper in a binder - but the important lesson that she will get from that is I didn't give up and I stuck with it.
It would be pretty awesome to get published. :)
Now that I have started, it's very difficult for me to focus at times on other things. My storyline constantly runs through my head and I am inundated with new ideas. I'd always reach a certain point - coming up with an idea - and then I'd jot a few things down and would get stuck. So, rather than pushing on, I'd just give it up and tell myself there were other important things to do anyway. Not anymore. I believe this is my gift and it is my passion. I look forward to completing it and dedicating it to Lauren and Troy.
I finally started doing something that I have wanted to do for the longest time - write. A goal of mine is to write a book and get published someday. I hesitated forever because I hate to fail and worried that if I wasn't able to do it, I'd be terribly disappointed in myself.
Two events changed my line of thinking: the Get Motivated conference and our first Sunday back at church in nearly two years.
At the Get Motivated conference, the first two speakers talked about finding your purpose and your gift. During one of the speeches, I wrote down in my workbook "write! write! write! write!" But, after the conference, other things got in the way and I didn't make the time to do this. We had a few trips to prepare for and I have a hard time taking myself away from Lauren to do something for myself. In fact, I rarely do this. If I'm not spending time with Lauren, I'm either doing chores around the house or she's asleep.
Two and a half weeks ago, Troy, Lauren and I finally went back to our church. There are numerous reasons why we had not gone in a while, none of which are important. The homily given by the priest spoke to me. I got two important things out of it: I need to focus on my gift and it doesn't matter how long I've been away from the church, I can always go back and will be forgiven.
As a result of those events, I finally started writing. If I get a spare minute here or there, I try to write. If I can't work on the actual storyline, I have a little notebook that I have started to carry with me and will jot stuff down. In fact, a major urge hit me yesterday on the way to work and I hate to admit that I actually jotted stuff down while I was driving.
It is amazing to me how easily my ideas are coming now that I am open to them and focused on this project. I have written nearly 40 pages of material in two weeks - which may not seem like much, but it is when you work, have a toddler and husband, and a million things to do before focusing on yourself. I am trying to remain positive and hopefully after this is all said and done, I can find a way to get published. If not, my motivation now is that I want to be able to tell Lauren that I accomplished one of my life long goals. I want to teach Lauren to set goals for herself and to do whatever it takes to reach them. For me, it may just be a typed story on plain white paper in a binder - but the important lesson that she will get from that is I didn't give up and I stuck with it.
It would be pretty awesome to get published. :)
Now that I have started, it's very difficult for me to focus at times on other things. My storyline constantly runs through my head and I am inundated with new ideas. I'd always reach a certain point - coming up with an idea - and then I'd jot a few things down and would get stuck. So, rather than pushing on, I'd just give it up and tell myself there were other important things to do anyway. Not anymore. I believe this is my gift and it is my passion. I look forward to completing it and dedicating it to Lauren and Troy.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Thoughts Today
Happy 3 Years, Troy!! Three years ago today, I was getting ready to head to my hair appointment and then to the church to get ready for the wedding! I wish we could re-live our reception because it was awesome - we had the most fun! It's hard to believe it's been that long....
So, this is kind of just a really random post about different things I was thinking about on my way into work.
First, I failed to mention in an earlier post that I witnessed something very awesome on our flight from Dallas to St. Louis when we came home from Cancun. The flight wasn't very full, and there was a soldier on board who got upgraded to first class. I thought it was really great of the stewards on American Airlines to do that for him. The men and women who serve in our armed forces work their butts off every day to ensure our rights and freedoms are protected, and I will forever be thankful to each and every one. It was very classy for American Airlines to do what they could to show their appreciation for this man.
That memory was sparked by my great-uncle's facebook post this morning. He served in the military and his son, Gregg, is also in the military. Gregg has served MANY tours of duty, including two tours in Iraq and a tour in Bosnia. He has been in the States for a while, after serving over in Germany when he first got married. Two of their three children were born in Germany, I believe. My great-uncle posted about how he was looking forward to the visit with his son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren this weekend before they went back to Germany. They will be going there for at least 3 years, and I know they are excited about it. I'm so proud of my family members who have served, including Uncle Tommy, Gregg, and my cousin Josh. Josh did a stint in South Korea working on some kind of missile. I remember him telling me stories about how unstable their situation was, as he was near the border, and would be on lockdown for days at a time. Iraq gets a lot of heat because most people don't agree with us being there, and I'm not even going to get into that because I have VERY strong opinions that are not the "popular" opinions, but we have men and women serving in hundreds of countries and face danger daily. Just because it's not on the news doesn't mean they are safe - they risk their lives each and every day and for that we should ALL be thankful. Because of these men and women, people are allowed to have whatever viewpoint they wish. I will always support the armed services and I hope that Gregg, Meredith, Jacob, Sam, and Daniel have a great time in Germany.
That led to my third line of thinking this morning. I am determined to visit Germany while they are stationed over there. I wasn't able to go during their previous tour, which is okay because I know I wouldn't have appreciated it as much. Now, having studied the world wars and foreign policy, I think it would be amazing to go there and see all of the sites. They have more meaning to me now that I have an understanding of the events that took place. I definitely want to take Lauren, even though she may not remember it. If I go in a few years, she'll be 4 and may be able to retain some of the memories - I just think it would be amazing to take her. If Troy is unable to go over, then I will have to persuade my parents into going over - which shouldn't be difficult as I know they wish they could've gone last time as well. So, hopefully before 2012 I will have Germany stamped in my passport!!
Then I heard "Love Story" on the way into work. I love that song - it's just cute. It made me think of different songs that have meaning for me. I know that sounds really corny, but there are songs that I hear on the radio that just take me back to a memory I associate with it. Here are a few (the song titles may not be correct, I'm just guessing...lol):
"I Saw God Today" - George Strait
This song reminds me of Lauren and when she was born. During part of the song, it says a time when the fictional child was born, and I always change the words to "6:28" when I sing it in the car because that is when Lauren was born.
"Raise Me Up" - Josh Groban
I walked (ran) down the aisle to this song 3 years ago today! Every time I hear it, I think about our wedding!
"Inside Your Heaven" - Carrie Underwood
This was our first song, and we picked it because we had watched the American Idol finale together and I loved the song then. It just suited us, and we danced to it for our first dance as a married couple.
"Our Song" - Taylor Swift
This song really got overplayed on the radio, but I still love it. I would sing this to Lauren when I was pregnant, because it was the only song that I knew all the words to. I have memories of singing this to her after she was born and we were driving in the car. It would usually calm her down. Also, when I would get ready in the mornings for work, I'd have Lauren in her bouncy by the shower and if she started fussing because she couldn't see me, I'd just have to sing this and she would stop crying.
"Ain't Going Down" - Garth Brooks
Ahhh...the college "getting ready to go out" song. My freshman year at Truman State, my roommate Meghan, my friend Jill, and I would play this REALLY loud when we were getting ready to go out. We didn't do it all the time, but I do have memories of this. One time I think Meghan even had on a cowboy hat while it was playing.
"Missing Missouri" - Sara Evans
I listen to this song when I'm homesick. I think I first heard it when I was living in Indianapolis, and it would remind me of home. The other day I was kind of sad, missing my family and friends, and played this song.
"The Bible Song" - Sara Evans and "Small" (?) - Carrie Underwood
Songs that get me through tough times. Enough said. :)
And all of that got me in to work today! I'm very much looking forward to my date with Troy tonight!
So, this is kind of just a really random post about different things I was thinking about on my way into work.
First, I failed to mention in an earlier post that I witnessed something very awesome on our flight from Dallas to St. Louis when we came home from Cancun. The flight wasn't very full, and there was a soldier on board who got upgraded to first class. I thought it was really great of the stewards on American Airlines to do that for him. The men and women who serve in our armed forces work their butts off every day to ensure our rights and freedoms are protected, and I will forever be thankful to each and every one. It was very classy for American Airlines to do what they could to show their appreciation for this man.
That memory was sparked by my great-uncle's facebook post this morning. He served in the military and his son, Gregg, is also in the military. Gregg has served MANY tours of duty, including two tours in Iraq and a tour in Bosnia. He has been in the States for a while, after serving over in Germany when he first got married. Two of their three children were born in Germany, I believe. My great-uncle posted about how he was looking forward to the visit with his son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren this weekend before they went back to Germany. They will be going there for at least 3 years, and I know they are excited about it. I'm so proud of my family members who have served, including Uncle Tommy, Gregg, and my cousin Josh. Josh did a stint in South Korea working on some kind of missile. I remember him telling me stories about how unstable their situation was, as he was near the border, and would be on lockdown for days at a time. Iraq gets a lot of heat because most people don't agree with us being there, and I'm not even going to get into that because I have VERY strong opinions that are not the "popular" opinions, but we have men and women serving in hundreds of countries and face danger daily. Just because it's not on the news doesn't mean they are safe - they risk their lives each and every day and for that we should ALL be thankful. Because of these men and women, people are allowed to have whatever viewpoint they wish. I will always support the armed services and I hope that Gregg, Meredith, Jacob, Sam, and Daniel have a great time in Germany.
That led to my third line of thinking this morning. I am determined to visit Germany while they are stationed over there. I wasn't able to go during their previous tour, which is okay because I know I wouldn't have appreciated it as much. Now, having studied the world wars and foreign policy, I think it would be amazing to go there and see all of the sites. They have more meaning to me now that I have an understanding of the events that took place. I definitely want to take Lauren, even though she may not remember it. If I go in a few years, she'll be 4 and may be able to retain some of the memories - I just think it would be amazing to take her. If Troy is unable to go over, then I will have to persuade my parents into going over - which shouldn't be difficult as I know they wish they could've gone last time as well. So, hopefully before 2012 I will have Germany stamped in my passport!!
Then I heard "Love Story" on the way into work. I love that song - it's just cute. It made me think of different songs that have meaning for me. I know that sounds really corny, but there are songs that I hear on the radio that just take me back to a memory I associate with it. Here are a few (the song titles may not be correct, I'm just guessing...lol):
"I Saw God Today" - George Strait
This song reminds me of Lauren and when she was born. During part of the song, it says a time when the fictional child was born, and I always change the words to "6:28" when I sing it in the car because that is when Lauren was born.
"Raise Me Up" - Josh Groban
I walked (ran) down the aisle to this song 3 years ago today! Every time I hear it, I think about our wedding!
"Inside Your Heaven" - Carrie Underwood
This was our first song, and we picked it because we had watched the American Idol finale together and I loved the song then. It just suited us, and we danced to it for our first dance as a married couple.
"Our Song" - Taylor Swift
This song really got overplayed on the radio, but I still love it. I would sing this to Lauren when I was pregnant, because it was the only song that I knew all the words to. I have memories of singing this to her after she was born and we were driving in the car. It would usually calm her down. Also, when I would get ready in the mornings for work, I'd have Lauren in her bouncy by the shower and if she started fussing because she couldn't see me, I'd just have to sing this and she would stop crying.
"Ain't Going Down" - Garth Brooks
Ahhh...the college "getting ready to go out" song. My freshman year at Truman State, my roommate Meghan, my friend Jill, and I would play this REALLY loud when we were getting ready to go out. We didn't do it all the time, but I do have memories of this. One time I think Meghan even had on a cowboy hat while it was playing.
"Missing Missouri" - Sara Evans
I listen to this song when I'm homesick. I think I first heard it when I was living in Indianapolis, and it would remind me of home. The other day I was kind of sad, missing my family and friends, and played this song.
"The Bible Song" - Sara Evans and "Small" (?) - Carrie Underwood
Songs that get me through tough times. Enough said. :)
And all of that got me in to work today! I'm very much looking forward to my date with Troy tonight!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Cherish Each Day
I received a phone call this morning from my friend Missy. Missy and I worked at Retina Consultants together, and since we've both left the office we still keep in touch. She called with some really hard news this morning.
One of the girls we worked with at Retina, recently had a stroke. She is recovering and from what Missy had heard, is expected to fully recover. This update really hit me hard, and I cried a lot this morning over it. Bad things should not happen to good people, but unfortunately they do.
J is an amazing person. She and I only worked together for about a year. As things happen, we lost touch over the past year. I really enjoyed working with her, and loved hearing her stories about her son. J is a single mom, raising her son who is probably 5 now. Her son's dad wasn't in the picture much, but J did her best to make sure that her son got to spend time with him if he wanted. She worked full-time to support herself and her little boy. A few months before I left Retina, she had started a nursing program in order to open up more opportunities for her. I remember her studying at work and talking to me about how difficult it was working and going to school, but that she was doing it for her son. He would "study" with her and support her in his own little way.
Missy informed me that J had just finished up her program and had gotten a full-time position with Retina (she had to cut down to part-time while she was in her program). Apparently she had gone to Charleston Town Center to do some celebratory shopping and the next thing she remembered, she was in the hospital. I was so happy to hear that she was able to walk across the stage, with the help of a walker, to receive her nursing diploma. She is such a strong woman and had already overcome many obstacles. This is another one, and it breaks my heart that it happened to her.
When situations like this occur, it makes me remember that I'm not in control of everything. None of us know what is going to happen day to day. Do you remember the last thing you said to your loved ones when you left, or ended a phone conversation? Sometimes, in the hustle and bustle of life, we take forgranted that our loved ones know how special they are to us and just how much we love them. I know for certain there are days in the past where I would not have wanted the last thing I said to someone before leaving to be the last thing I said to them period. We don't know how long we have. I don't mean it to sound depressing, it's just truth. Sometimes we need that reminder in order to evaluate the way we are living our lives. I tell my daughter every day, multiple times, how much I love her. I don't always do the same for my other family members and loved ones. Live each day to its fullest, cherish each moment - good or bad, and always tell the people you love how much they mean to you.
Please keep J in your thoughts and prayers. I pray she has a speedy recovery and is back to playing with Tyler, working, and being an awesome nurse in no time.
One of the girls we worked with at Retina, recently had a stroke. She is recovering and from what Missy had heard, is expected to fully recover. This update really hit me hard, and I cried a lot this morning over it. Bad things should not happen to good people, but unfortunately they do.
J is an amazing person. She and I only worked together for about a year. As things happen, we lost touch over the past year. I really enjoyed working with her, and loved hearing her stories about her son. J is a single mom, raising her son who is probably 5 now. Her son's dad wasn't in the picture much, but J did her best to make sure that her son got to spend time with him if he wanted. She worked full-time to support herself and her little boy. A few months before I left Retina, she had started a nursing program in order to open up more opportunities for her. I remember her studying at work and talking to me about how difficult it was working and going to school, but that she was doing it for her son. He would "study" with her and support her in his own little way.
Missy informed me that J had just finished up her program and had gotten a full-time position with Retina (she had to cut down to part-time while she was in her program). Apparently she had gone to Charleston Town Center to do some celebratory shopping and the next thing she remembered, she was in the hospital. I was so happy to hear that she was able to walk across the stage, with the help of a walker, to receive her nursing diploma. She is such a strong woman and had already overcome many obstacles. This is another one, and it breaks my heart that it happened to her.
When situations like this occur, it makes me remember that I'm not in control of everything. None of us know what is going to happen day to day. Do you remember the last thing you said to your loved ones when you left, or ended a phone conversation? Sometimes, in the hustle and bustle of life, we take forgranted that our loved ones know how special they are to us and just how much we love them. I know for certain there are days in the past where I would not have wanted the last thing I said to someone before leaving to be the last thing I said to them period. We don't know how long we have. I don't mean it to sound depressing, it's just truth. Sometimes we need that reminder in order to evaluate the way we are living our lives. I tell my daughter every day, multiple times, how much I love her. I don't always do the same for my other family members and loved ones. Live each day to its fullest, cherish each moment - good or bad, and always tell the people you love how much they mean to you.
Please keep J in your thoughts and prayers. I pray she has a speedy recovery and is back to playing with Tyler, working, and being an awesome nurse in no time.
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