It's been a while...

I get so caught up in keeping my family updated about Lauren that I don't spend much time on this blog.

I finally started doing something that I have wanted to do for the longest time - write. A goal of mine is to write a book and get published someday. I hesitated forever because I hate to fail and worried that if I wasn't able to do it, I'd be terribly disappointed in myself.

Two events changed my line of thinking: the Get Motivated conference and our first Sunday back at church in nearly two years.

At the Get Motivated conference, the first two speakers talked about finding your purpose and your gift. During one of the speeches, I wrote down in my workbook "write! write! write! write!" But, after the conference, other things got in the way and I didn't make the time to do this. We had a few trips to prepare for and I have a hard time taking myself away from Lauren to do something for myself. In fact, I rarely do this. If I'm not spending time with Lauren, I'm either doing chores around the house or she's asleep.

Two and a half weeks ago, Troy, Lauren and I finally went back to our church. There are numerous reasons why we had not gone in a while, none of which are important. The homily given by the priest spoke to me. I got two important things out of it: I need to focus on my gift and it doesn't matter how long I've been away from the church, I can always go back and will be forgiven.

As a result of those events, I finally started writing. If I get a spare minute here or there, I try to write. If I can't work on the actual storyline, I have a little notebook that I have started to carry with me and will jot stuff down. In fact, a major urge hit me yesterday on the way to work and I hate to admit that I actually jotted stuff down while I was driving.

It is amazing to me how easily my ideas are coming now that I am open to them and focused on this project. I have written nearly 40 pages of material in two weeks - which may not seem like much, but it is when you work, have a toddler and husband, and a million things to do before focusing on yourself. I am trying to remain positive and hopefully after this is all said and done, I can find a way to get published. If not, my motivation now is that I want to be able to tell Lauren that I accomplished one of my life long goals. I want to teach Lauren to set goals for herself and to do whatever it takes to reach them. For me, it may just be a typed story on plain white paper in a binder - but the important lesson that she will get from that is I didn't give up and I stuck with it.

It would be pretty awesome to get published. :)

Now that I have started, it's very difficult for me to focus at times on other things. My storyline constantly runs through my head and I am inundated with new ideas. I'd always reach a certain point - coming up with an idea - and then I'd jot a few things down and would get stuck. So, rather than pushing on, I'd just give it up and tell myself there were other important things to do anyway. Not anymore. I believe this is my gift and it is my passion. I look forward to completing it and dedicating it to Lauren and Troy.